Yes, we have two heroes at the Bryants – Jesus Christ and Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Like I have said, we aren’t the perfect family). Since I have a lot of Bibles and books about the first, my sons thought I needed another kind of bible. So they got me Arnold’s “The New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding: The Bible of Bodybuilding” for Christmas along with all the supplements needed to sculpt that perfect body. What’s a 57 year old doing with a Schwarzenegger body building book? Sharon just goes around the house shaking her head and mumbling things to herself. I can’t prove it, but I think the hear the word “idiot” from time to time…The book is 800 pages, complete with all the pictures that will shame me into working out. I have to workout just to lift the book. But Arnold is going to do his best to help me overcome “muscular inhibition.” Now that is a new category for recovery. “Hello, my name is Don, and I suffer from muscular inhibition.” That is an understatement. It’s a nice way to say, “Don is too fat, too slow and would rather die young than give up a jelly donut.”
But I have to admit it – the book makes me want to work out. And I need all the motivation I can get. I’ve been working out pretty diligently for a year and have lost about 40 pounds. But I can feel “behavioral slippage” beginning. If I get too near an all-you-can-eat buffet, the gravitational pull might be so strong I’ll end up with a neck whiplash.
If anyone writes to my seminary after reading this and asks them to withdraw my diploma, I’ll understand. I probably should write myself.