JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A divorced Jacksonville woman said her former church has threatened to “go public with her sins” and tell the congregation about her sexual relationship with her new boyfriend. Rebecca Hancock said harassment from Grace Community Church in Mandarin over her sex life caused her to leave, but she said that didn’t put an end to the problem. She said she received a letter from the church’s elders telling her the church plans to make her personal life very public.
I’ve been thinking. Many years ago I was a part of a church as a seminary student where the Pastor, at a wise age of 28, decided to take church discipline very seriously. The Apostle Paul was clear that openly practiced disobedience to the clear moral demands of the the Bible was unacceptable and that people who don’t get right with God should go through the Matthew 18 process. So far so good. But there was a problem. The same people pursuing this “call of God” were much better at cleaning out the flock of God than building it. It occurred to me then, and does so today, that there was an irony of sorts in being so eager to defend the holiness of God but not so eager to deal with the messiness of sinners finding their way to Jesus. (Chuck Swindoll make the point that the church is like an ark – you couldn’t stand the stink inside if things weren’t worse on the outside.) Eventually the church lost its zeal for purifying itself and church discipline dropped off the leadership team’s agenda. I think one of the burn points was their experience of trying to enact discipline when one marriage partner was divorcing the other without biblical grounds. Getting involved in the lives of divorcing people is like driving into a tornado. Stuff flying all over the place. Families taking sides, church members taking sides, threats of lawsuits, children humiliated, etc. Of course, the reality is that the Apostle Paul does not recommend church discipline for Christians divorcing. He allows separation, though not remarriage for those whose divorce did not rest on biblical grounds.
For church discipline to work other things have to be in place:
1. There has to be a definite membership. If people who just come to the church regularly are considered in some sense members, then when it comes time to exercise some kind of intervention, you’ll quickly find out that they are not members. People do not become members for a reason. Remember that. So a church needs to make a clear distinction in its own eyes and in the eyes of the church between those who have and those who have not entered into a commitment of voluntary association.
2. The leadership should have authority over the membership rolls. If they do not, then the member being disciplined only has to work the phone lines and emails and create a groundswell of confusion. Is there danger that the leadership will be overly controlling in such a circumstance? Yes, there is. But there is as much, even more danger, that anarchy will destroy, too. A wise church recognizes that there will be moments like this, elects wise men to the leadership who in all respects demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit, and then charges them to manage the family in discrete ways that keep the church from being unduly destabilized by factionalism. If the church does not give the leadership this power, then all types of dirty laundry are going to be aired in order for people to build their case against each other. It feels dark, is dark and puts the church to an open shame. If this is what your constitution calls for, however, you have to do it, even if it is messy. My recommendation is that you change your constitution so you don’t have to go there.
3. If a person who is being disciplined no longer wants to be a part of the church, I believe the matter is closed. The church’s responsibility in the matter is completed. The approach of “you aren’t going to quit, we are going to fire you” is childish and ends up without any positive result. However, if a person desires the privilege of association and the church denies him that privilege until open defiance of God’s moral law is abated, then the church has fuflilled the biblical pattern. In the Florida case, the woman no longer wants to be accountable to that body of believers and does not want to attend there. So be it. As a Pastor you give to her a final word of exhortation and encouragement to turn to Christ and then let her go.
4. I think churches fail to let those who attend know that such things as public defiance of God’s moral law are taken seriously. We all understand human weakness and the pride that comes with sin. But there is a line that can be crossed where the offending party begins to so distort the Christian message and faith that the church has to protect itself lest its message of salvation get so clouded over that no one can see the bright light of Christ. Some church are so “hail fellow well met” that when the church has to turn to discipline every one is stunned. They never imagined such a thing could happen, partly because the church was so welcoming it never occurred to anyone that there was a core of truths and commitsments that could not be compromised. Any good church will fill up with all kinds of people in all phases of life and in all phases of yes and no to God. There should be drug users, the sexually immoral, those living together, etc. (in other words, us) coming because the word of salvation is being preached in a compelling way that even those far from God are willing to hear. But there should always be a clear line of demarcation between those who have entered into covenant with Christ and His church and those who have not. If that is no big deal and unclear, then everyone will be surprised when the church suddenly becomes “strict.”
5. The recent events in the Episcopal church show the relevance of church discipline. When, in the name of God’s love, the church no longer commits itself to a clear moral vision for which its members make sacrifice, church, as church, is an empty concept. Churches need to take goodness seriously. When they do not, really bad things happen. Committing ourselves to goodness while at the same time being of real help to people who fall short of that aspiration (all of us) is the balance. And churches that don’t balance will not be able to exercise church discipline effectively.
I have been in the messiness of church discipline. It’s a whirlwind that rips sails, breaks masts, and keeps the pumps running day and night lest the boat sink. It’s at such times as these that we are reminded that the church is a real thing, not just an idea or wish. It is not a reading group at the library or a fund raiser at the country club. It is on a mission, and its very existence means a collision course with this present world order. Put on your saftety helmets and buckle those seat belts. If you don’t, you’ll get a rude awakening when your head slams against the windshield.
