Surviving the Holidays – an evening seminar from DivorceCare

Our church will be sponsoring a Surviving the Holidays evening for the divorced/separated on Tuesday, Dec 2, 7 PM. A large number of intact families aren’t too crazy about the holidays. Sister Sue and uncle Bud and son Joe have enough issues to drive the whole event into the ditch, and no one looks forward to the careful driving you have to do to get through to the other side. Bad enough, but if you add to the mix the separation/divorce you can get some unbearable pain. Of course, for some reason, the holidays are the anniversaries of a lot of divorces. One partner just couldn’t hold back and deal with their stuff at another time – they just had to leave the home or announce their intentions during the holidays. Well, excusssssssssssse, me….

I am constantly amazed by the level of pain that divorce brings into lives. Divorce is so prevalent that the undivorced can miss how much hurt is going on. And those contemplating divorce can’t imagine how big the hole will be they are digging. The reality is that you can’t get that close to another person and move away without this huge ripping and tearing thing happening. And that is just one aspect of the thing – not to take into account repairing the relationships with the children, the finances, the energy drain of finding a new home, coming back into the marketplace, retraining for a more financially rewarding job since there is no longer a two-income household, relating to former parents-in-law, etc., etc., etc. It doesn’t stop.

The holidays can be the needle in the eye, as if things are not bad enough already. Have I overstated myself? No, I don’t think so. So this holiday season, for Christ’s sake, the agenda is good news – God has made a way.

My wife says I cannot get an earring

She’s been okay with my pony tail (now gone) and Santa Claus beard (now gone) but she draws the line at tattoos(I think one of those wrap around tattoos just above the bicep are kewl, but I just don’t have a real bicep – so tattoos are out) and earrings. From whence cometh this irrational fear of the ring? My older son had a tongue ring from sr hi through college. The only agreement was that if he chipped his teeth because of it, it was on his money. And since he played offensive tackle in high school and college, it was a bit of a gamble on his part. He is now a “grown-up” and has lost the ring. Doesn’t quite fit the image of a PhD student at the U of Chicago doing research in a hospital. Of course, my wife would feel that the operative word is grown-up. (Gosh, I hate that word). I think I have always looked for a way not to be a stereotypical pastor. As a breed of people, I have this inner world alarm system that goes off and screams out “get away…get away…get away…” when one of them gets too close. Not a few people think I have succeeded in working against the stereotype. And I have to hand it to my church that they just tolerate my phases without paying much attention. But Sharon won’t budge on this one. Of course, I could get one of those paste on earrings that I quickly remove when I come home. But that would be dishonest and I would never do anything….wait a minute, that’s not a bad idea. Have to do some research.