Today is Pearl Harbor day. 60+ years later people gather together at quiet, sacred spots and remember those who suffered and died.
I would like to remember those who served the Lord, got wounded and couldn’t find healing. They don’t scream out for attention. They know what most of us would say. They can quote the Bible verses we are ready to sling their way. But somehow they have never been able to find their way back – the energy sapped, the gleam in the eye gone, the readiness slacked, the courage weakened.
All shell-shocked Christians are welcome to this remembrance. Those on the mission field who were overwhelmed by the complexity of cross-cultural service and became lonely and afraid and returned home – you are welcome. Those who have led some foray into ministry and failed miserably, so miserably that others would not forgive – you are welcome. Those who have never been able to shake the cruel word, first spoken behind the back but then relayed through “concerned and praying” Christians – you are welcome. Those who have lost a loved one and the grieving just won’t stop, and no number of good sermons and books sent to them by friends will make it stop – you are welcome. Those who got so unbearably lonely in doing the Lord’s work and made a relationship out of what should not have been and now will never forgive themselves and the shame won’t stop – you are welcome. Those who have wrestled with private demons but meant well and wanted the good even as they underestimated the forces arrayed against them and took a defeat – you are welcome. Those whose strength has been spent but whose hearts long for glory days to return – you are welcome.
There are plenty of sermons out there to tell people how to avoid what happened to you. There are too few sermons for people like you. You would like to heal and find a beginning but you know that the church is not too thankful for people who honestly tried and then found themselves in trouble. (Weren’t they hypocrites all along, insincere, playing games, phony, shallow?) Only success will do. Our theology teaches us that if you get too weak, too sad, too depleted, too hurt, too lame, too whatever that it is your fault, too. Everything is your fault. That’s about as deep as some people’s theology goes. It makes no room for learning. It makes no room for real woundedness. It makes no room for life-long damage. It makes no room for a Jacob limp. It makes no room for what is really going on and from which we hide: there are a lot of wounded veterans out there in the Lord’s army.
On Pearl Harbor day I salute you. The church may judge you and hurt you. But God knows. You may sit on back rows in many of a sanctuary on Sundays, or you may not even go anymore. The pain is too immense. May our gracious Jesus give to you a few Christ-followers who understand. There are too few of them to go around.
And for those of you who don’t understand this blog – you are welcome, too. Spend some time with us outsiders who can’t keep up anymore. Feel the hunger for Christ. It’s real.
